Before Its Time
by JacintaMarina
Summary: DH: He just can't stand it. No one is that good.... if only he could get rid of that which taunts him so... please note, this is a dark story, and containing such themes. Full Warning Within.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Before you read this, please note: It includes sexual assult. Yes, I am aware this is a monsterous experience. I am aware that it is NOT something to be taken lightly. Rape is not sexy or enjoyable by any means. I am aware that people may be offended by this. HOWEVER! I would like to respectfully point out that this is freedom of expression. There are many different types of literature, and this is one. I apologize to anyone whom this may offend, and I would ask that, if it does offend you, you are welcome to say so. I do ask, however, that you state your position respectfully. Also, I ask that you consider that, ultimately, it is your decision whether or not to read this.

On a lighter note, I would ask that if you have any comments or critiques that you review, because I am always overjoyed to improve my writing in any way, shape, or form. (and I am aware the chapters are painfully short. sorry.)

Thank you, and enjoy.

JacintaM

* * *

Those brown eyes. 

Yes, that was it.

He could only ever see innocence in them.

And that pissed him off.

_Really, _he reasoned, _no one is _that _good. Not even that mudblood Granger._

He wanted to see her eyes _burn _with something more than excitement at answering a question in class. He wanted to see her under him literally more than figuratively. He wanted to be _inside _her. Fuck, he wanted _her_.

Of course, getting her was a different story.

Damn, if only he could get her away from Potter and Weasly, he could get her. He just knew it. He just _knew_ that she would be his if he got her alone.

All he needed was a chance.

And Draco Malfoy was never one to wait for a chance. He made one.

Draco knew Granger was a bookworm. He knew she spent every hour in the library she possibly could. He knew she spent every hour in the library she possibly could, and he knew the Gryffindor Quidditch team's practice schedule.

Luckily for Draco, and _un_luckily for Granger, this night was the night the Quidditch team had gotten permission for late-night practice, and Hermione had gotten permission for a late-night study session, so she didn't have to study with all those first- and second-years cluttering up her tables and distracting her. _Plus_, Draco reasoned, _she doesn't want to look like a complete loner without Potter and the Weasel there to make her look good_.

Not that she needed anyone to make her look good.

But she did need someone – someone like him – to make her far from innocent.

And he was certainly up for the task.

The clock in the library struck eleven, and Draco watched as Hermione slowly packed up her books. He watched her struggle slightly under the immense weight of the mini-library she had packed into her book bag, and he watched her skirt (somehow longer than all the Slytherin girls' skirts put together) get hiked up to an anything-but-innocent length. The sound she made when heaved the bag into a more comfortable position immediately made Draco think of _other_ ways she would make that sound-

_No_, he chided himself silently, _don't just _think_, do._

With that, Draco stood up silently and began following her through the empty hallway.

From the moment she stepped out of the library, Draco followed only a few paces behind. By some stroke of luck on his part, she didn't hear him approach, slowly, until he could cover her mouth with his hand and pull her into an empty classroom.

She struggled against his hand, she tried to scream, but he held her too tight for her to even reach for her wand.

Quickly, Draco reached inside her robes and pulled out her wand, which he had seen her hide mere minutes ago. He then pushed her roughly so her cheek was against the door, and hissed into her ear, '_Finally_, Granger, I've got you.'

'Malfoy!' she exclaimed, furious, but still with a hint of fear, he detected, 'Get your filthy hands off me or else-'

'Or else what?' Draco drawled. 'Or else Potter and Weasly will come to your rescue? I don't think so, they're all at Quidditch practice, aren't they?'

'The entire _common room_ is waiting for me, Malfoy,' she practically spat out her name, 'if I'm not back by midnight, they'll come looking.'

'I'm sure they will,' he sniggered, 'so we'll just have to make due with what we have, won't we?' Spinning her around, he slammed his mouth into hers. He could feel her resist, but at the same time, he could feel her beginning to pulse with a sort of physical desire. 'Look at me.'

She obliged, facing him with the fieriest look of loathing he had ever met – and_ that_ is saying something. But he could still see that damned innocence! _Well, _he thought, _that'll soon be a thing of the past…_

He began by ripping off her pretentious white blouse, sending buttons flying every which way. He drank in the sight of her, every curve, every inch. He wanted to devour her.

'You're going to like this, Granger,' he told her, his face mere millimetres from hers, 'you're going to like this and you're going to come back _begging_ for more.' He kissed her again, and pulled her down on the floor, undoing her bra in one quick movement, and keeping her hands pinned above her head.

'You touch me, Malfoy, and I swear to God, I will kill you. Stop now, and I'll just leave and never mention this again.' She spoke with such conviction he hardly heard the tremor of fear behind the words. Hardly.

'Just leave it all to me, Granger.' He replied, not even acknowledging her plea.

He began to kiss her creamy skin, starting from her jaw line, and working his way down her body. He stopped to suck roughly of her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. He heard a gasp catch in her throat, and felt her body tremble involuntarily as he drew his teeth across her hardened nipple.

_God, she's so_… _delicious._

He trailed her body until he reached the top of her pleated skirt. Slowly, still holding her arms, he used his other to pull down her skirt to reveal simple white under things, and that to reveal what he came for.

'No, Malfoy, please,' she whimpered, seeming finally to grasp what he planed, 'please, anything…'

Looking up to meet her gaze, Draco saw what brought him here in the first place. Her innocence burned brighter than her fear, than her pride, than anything and everything else he saw in her.

It variably enraged him.

Draco pulled out his wand, and bound her magically in the position he had been holding her in. This left him free to gaze at her body, so soft, so clean.

Slowly, he removed the rest of his clothing and lay on top of her, mouth grazing her ear. 'You're going to enjoy this, Granger…' he hissed in her ear. _And maybe it'll get rid of that look you so infuriatingly have behind your eyes. _She gave one last feeble plea, not even in the form of a coherent sentence, but a small whimper of fear. 'Look me in the eyes, Granger. I want to see it go out.'

She moved her head to the side, but twisted it sharply back to face him direct as he descended on her, and finally, _finally_ took that damned innocence he so desperately loathed.

Oh, how she _screamed_ when his erection hit her tightness, and stole away her virginity. Sharply, like a battering ram on a Venetian vase. She shattered, and she screamed. Screamed with pain, with shame, and, despite her repulsion, with a twisted sort of pleasure.

_There it goes… _Draco thought as he watched her eyes widen, _There goes that glimmer… and now, it's gone…_

He pushed harder and faster, until she climaxed, again and again, against her will. He could tell she tried to stop her body from responding, but it was no use. He had had too many women to know how to make them cum.

'Finally…' he gasped, finishing, and rolling off of her. He took out his wand and performed a quick contraception charm. No reason to leave a pure blooded Malfoy in some know it all mudblood. He dressed slowly, letting her lie naked on the floor, still bound, with tears rolling down her cheeks. When he was done, he released her, and kicked her clothing to her, as if he didn't want to touch them. He laughed to himself as she tried to dress without revealing herself to him, and as he went to turn the handle to leave, he heard her mutter one word.

'Why?'

Turning back to look at her, clutching her book bag to her chest, he pierced her eyes with his. Quietly, he replied, 'I want what I can't have. I wanted your innocence. I took it. End of story.'

She looked back at him, holding eye contact for the longest time, as he couldn't seem to break it. He started to see something there that he couldn't quite place. Something so familiar, but so foreign, he didn't know what to say. Frightened of this feeling, he left her, and ran back to his room, locking himself in the bathroom. He leant over the sink, and splashed water on his face, trying to calm himself. He dried his face on an emerald towel, and looked in the mirror. Looking up in his own eyes, he recognized what he had seen.

Innocence lost before its time.

* * *

I was going to continue this (and I had quite a few chapters up...) but I kindof lost the whole feeling behind it.. sorry! If I can, I'll build it up again later. ttly Happy 2007! Jacinta. 


	2. Chapter 2

He knew there would be hell to pay. He actually expected his common room door to be burst down by Potter and Weasley, never mind the entire Hogwarts staff. He was, understandably, scared shitless.

But it never came.

He waited the entire weekend, hiding out in the sixth years' dormitory, but there was nothing.

No Potter, no Weasley, no Dumbledore.

What was Granger thinking?

Had she even told anyone yet?

Was she just curled up under the covers of her room?

Or was she still in that classroom…

Lost…

What had he done?

* * *

By lunchtime, Draco was famished, and he couldn't face _her _in the dining hall, so he sent Goyle to grab him the best of everything, and snuck off to his favourite secluded spot by the lake to think.

_Okay, h_e told himself, munching on a lightly browned piece of toast, _Granger either hasn't told them yet, or she's stopping them from coming here and _murdering_ me. They may be just a blood traitor and a kid with a saving people thing, but… two against one isn't exactly in my favour… but what if she hasn't told anyone yet?_

Another voice popped into his head just then. _Why wouldn't she tell? It's not like she's not helpless, and her Gryffindor buddies would definitely support her. _

_Well…_ he told the voice, _maybe she's ashamed? _

_Of what?_

_Being helpless?_

_But what if she feels sorry for you? _The voice told him.

_I don't need some know it all mudblood to pity me. _He told the voice angrily, tossing his leftovers into the lake.

The voice was silent then. Looking out to the lake, Draco saw the giant squid reach up above the water and scoop his leftovers below the surface.

_Or… do I?_

* * *

Draco, having sat outside until the crisp autumn was threatening to cause mild hypothermia, shuffled through the doors just as dinner was being let out. As misfortune would have it, who was stepping out of the hall just as Draco was stepping in?

_Hermione._ He stopped, stunned, ashamed. Even the use of her first name didn't register as he watched her slowly trail beside Potter and the two redheaded Weasleys. He stood, stock still, watching her walk. The odd thing was, he didn't see any sort of pain on her person… and he knew pain. Of course he knew pain with a father like his. A father who…

_No, _said a voice in his head, _don't think about it._

It seemed to take an eternity for her and the rest of the school to cross the foyer.

* * *

That little voice in his head had always been there, ever since he had been aware of the things around him. He recognized it as a mix between a continence and repressor of memories. He acknowledged that it wasn't what you would call healthy, but damned if he wanted to deal with the pain. He knew little bits of what had happened to him, but it was like it was a memory of a book he had read.

Terrible, yes, but not personal.

Nothing was personal, anymore.

Nothing, until he acknowledged Hermione Granger.

As he grew and matured, he had acknowledged her as more of a person… not that he would tell his father, or anyone, of this change of heart. Sometimes, late at night, he would stay awake and just think. Think so deep that he couldn't even remember what he thought about. The only thing he did remember was that the next day, if he had to bash Granger, or anyone like her, he could barely get the same spite in his voice.

In the beginning, he felt as if he was betraying his father, his heritage. Now, however, it was like all those years of being a Malfoy were just a betrayal of himself. Where were these thoughts coming from, anyways? Shouldn't he be trying to imitate his father, and forget all this foolishness of morality?

What had she done to him?

* * *

A/N aaaand after a long bout, I'm back. I'm warning you, this chapter and then next have been done for awhile, and I have another two chapters going, but I figured I'd continue this one... so if I don't update quite so quickly, please don't hate me... Ciao, Js... oh, and would you pretty please review? 


	3. Chapter 3

Draco was pacing again.

He'd been doing that a lot the past two days.

It was still the weekend, but almost approaching Monday, when he would have to face her.

And he just couldn't do that.

He didn't understand it at all. Surely, he had done much worse things…. Well, maybe not worse, but he'd been pretty terrible through his years of service to his father, and to his House. He had been raised to be horrible, and now, for some reason, he just couldn't justify what he did. He was beginning to hate himself.

More than usual.

At six thirty that evening, while everyone else was at dinner, it finally came.

The knock.

But it wasn't at all what he had expected.

When he saw her standing in front of the portal, alone, he couldn't speak. He just stood back so she could come in.

She entered, slowly, keeping a fair distance from him, but still she entered, cautiously. Even though he would expect much more fear from her, she remained calm and collected as she stood opposite as he closed the door. They stood in a deadly silence, until-

'Hermione…' Draco started, quietly, no hint of maliciousness in his voice. 'I… I don't…'

'Stop right there, Malfoy. I know what you're going to say,' she told him, wand in hand, haunted eyes burning into his, 'you're going to start in about how I'm nothing, right? I'm just some mudblood piece of trash, right? Well, I've got news for you, Malfoy; _I'm a person, okay? _God, you and your _fucking _vendetta against muggleborns, it's gotten really old, you know? I'm more human then you'll ever be! I just wanted to tell you that right now, alright? You're a heartless _fucking _bastard and I told you if you touched me I would kill you, didn't I?' she whispered at a deadly tone, and slowly stepped towards him. 'Didn't I? Just before you _raped_ _me_? Fuck, Malfoy, I thought even you, even _you, _couldn't sink that low. You're lower than a worm, Malfoy, and I ought to just finish you off right here.'

Draco quivered, the thought of self-defence foreign now from his mind. 'Hermione, please…' he dropped to his knees, wishing he could make things right, tell her what she had done to him, what she had made him realize.

A cruel smirk crossed her lips. 'Draco,' she cooed, caressing his pale cheek, 'you really think I would let you off that easy? I'm going to make you see your error. You broke me, Malfoy. And I'm going to get retribution.'

Trembling, Draco was barely able to mutter his plea. 'What do you want? Please, I'll do anything…'

'I'm going to own you, Malfoy, I'm going to make you mine. I'm going to see your past, Draco, and you're going to come with me. I see it in your eyes, Draco. You feel sorry for what you did. So sorry that you'll do anything. Well, this is what I want.' Stopping, but keeping her want pointed at his heart, she pulled out a small vial of clear liquid. 'Veritaserum. You will swallow this. You will tell me the truth about everything. I'm sure you've not learned Occlumency, so I'm not worried. And if you don't swallow, I'll know. Now, drink.' She held out the vial to him, and he swallowed in one gulp, opening his mouth so she could see he had fully swallowed it. 'Know, Draco, that three drops diluted in pumpkin juice would have had you spilling out your secrets to me. You just swallowed an entire vial. You will answer every question I ask, no matter how mortifyingly embarrassing, painful, or incriminating. Do I make myself perfectly clear?'

Without a moment's hesitation, Draco, still on his knees in front of her, answered, 'Yes.'

'Good.' She licked her lips, suddenly dry from the shock of seeing him so vulnerable. She had made up her mind to be as cruel as he had been to her over the years, but it just wasn't in her nature. If he had yelled, or argued, it would have been easier… but this docile Draco did nothing to enflame her temper. Caught off guard, she stumbled slightly on her first question. 'Well…' she began, 'you told my why you did it, but… I still don't understand. What did you mean? And I want the full version, not the lame ass riddles you're so fond of.'

Before he could even begin to stop himself, Draco began to tell her practically his entire life story. 'When I was still only a couple years old, I had a nanny, but she was less than useless… I used to wander a lot around the manor, exploring all the rooms, and spying on people… one day, I walked into my parents' bedroom... what I saw…' here, his voice cracked, and silent tears began to roll down his face, 'I saw my father hit my mother. Slapped her. Sometimes, in my nightmares, I can still hear her whimpering… it was only a couple years later, when I first started with my tutors, that he would hurt me. I was never good enough for him, I suppose… I know he was never pleased. No matter how well I did, he still wasn't satisfied…' _No! _said the voice desperately in his head, _dangerous territory TURN BACK NOW_, but he couldn't stop the serum from working, 'and then I came here. To Hogwarts.' _DANGER, DANGER, DANGER! Turn Back NOW!_ 'I was sure, because I was pureblood, that I would be the best. My family, you know… but then, you came along… you, with your damned muggle heritage, beating me at everything. You and Potter, the overachievers. I didn't make the Quidditch team in _my _first year, and you always scoring better on tests and in class… During the holidays, he was… impossible. I could even live with the physical pain, you know? But the mental strain… I could never please him, no matter what I did…'

Hermione's eyes were beginning to gloss over. She was sure he had had a terrible childhood (with a father like Lucious Malfoy, who wouldn't?), but she never imagined this. 'But you said… something about innocence? And if you never pleased him, how did you always get what you wanted?'

Draco bypassed the first question, knowing he would have to answer eventually. 'It was all appearance. If his son didn't seem well treated, and doted on, how the hell could he seem wealthy, and powerful? It was all an act, the father the world saw. Eventually, I just started to block out all the negative memories, the negative feelings… and… well, I don't really know how to explain what I took from you… you know better yourself… but, I was innocent, before… There's a certain look in the eyes, you can see innocence… but then, once it's gone, it can never come back… I think I thought if I took yours, I could redeem mine… but all it gave me was a reminder of me… now all I see is a mirror… I recognized it that night… lost… I stole it… it was lost before its time, and God, Granger – Hermione – _I'm sorry_. If I could take give it back, I swear on my life, I would. I just… you brought out something in me that I was scared of… I felt I was loosing myself, but I wasn't… I was finding it…' tears poured out of his eyes, as he told her, and himself, the full and honest truth. 'I found myself… God, how I wish that I could do it all again, but… Please, Hermione, please, I know I deserve everything I get, but please, _please_, understand, I never, _never_ wanted to hurt you. I just wanted the hurt to stop. I'm… I'm… _scared_._'_ The tears were pouring more steadily now, his silver eyes shining with remorse.

His last word came out as a whisper, but Hermione heard it crystal clear. Draco Malfoy, scared. She had always thought that he could never be brave as he put on. Underneath everything, he was still only her age, confused. But this – this! – was unbelievable. She never thought, in all her life, she would hear the truth from Draco. And now, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear any more.

* * *

A/N So… What did you think? Too much? Too little? Too perfect? Feedback (both positive and negative) would be _greatly_ appreciated. Ciao! JacintaM 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N... and lo! the conclusion. Enjoy. Or not, your choice. But review! 3

* * *

Hermione licked her lips nervously. She had wanted to humiliate him, make him feel like she had when he had been taunting her. Now, however, she saw that he already did. 'I'll never get it back,' was all she could say.

'No,' Draco replied, his eyes pleading. 'I never did.' Hermione watched his silver Slytherin eyes gleam for a moment, and then turned to the portal to leave. When she reached it, she looked back on the boy who had broken her; he was still on his knees, and she saw him tremble. 'I really am. Sorry.'

She looked into his eyes, and saw the truth. 'I know,' she told him. 'But it doesn't make up for what you did.'

Ashamed, Draco lowered his eyes and put his head in his hands. 'I know.'

Considering him, Hermione said quietly, 'We're the same, then, you and I. Lost. Come with me to Dumbledore's office. Maybe he can help us find ourselves.'

Draco stood clumsily and came slowly over to the door. 'If there's anything I can do, Hermione…'

'Stay out of arm's reach… and stop using my first name.' She grimaced, and added, 'It's unnatural.'

Draco followed Hermione up to the headmaster's office without complaint. Indeed, he thought he got off rather well – and, of course, he hated himself for it. He didn't deserve her kindness. But, of course, it was Hermione. She was always doing kind things like that.

When they reached the massive gargoyle, Draco told her, 'Just so you know; we're not the same at all.'

'Oh?'

'I would've killed me. That just proves that I didn't take it. I'm completely gone. You, though – you're still the same kind, sweet know-it-all with a continence. Mine died years ago.'

'Did it?' she asked, 'Because if it were totally gone, would you be feeling guilty right now?'

As he pondered this, the gargoyle sprung alive, and moved aside to usher Draco willingly to his hazy future.

_Maybe_, Draco thought, his heart warming,_ it wasn't completely lost after all…_

* * *

A/N…so… I REALLY hope you liked it, and if you did or didn't tell me!!! CIAO!! JM.

ps. if you think of anything that you think could be done to improve it, tell me. I loooove feedback:)


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